10.13.10

... a day that should always be memorialized. After being trapped underground for 69 days, 33 Chilean miners were brought home to safety. What a wonderful day!! All miners and rescuers safe and sound -- praise God for His blessings!

so pitiful it's hilarious

'Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now' is just a funny song. Hilarious really. I think that it has to do with the fact that the verses are so pity-inducing and the singer has to be high or intoxicated or highly intoxicated. We whine and complain until we get what we think we want and then we are ... miserable. Never content with what we've been blessed. The best line is the very first one: 'I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, and Heaven knows I'm miserable now ...'.

You can listen to it here and read the lyrics here.

'caught up in circles ... confusion is nothing new'

Cyndi Lauper, 'Time After Time'

~ ~ ~

So I am currently in week 5 of the quarter ... holy crap, wait! Seriously?! Oh my actual God ... it CANNOT already be week 5. Wait -- it's not. It's week 4 ... my apologies for that freakout. I really did think that I was in week 5 there for an extremely scary second. 

Anyway ... so far I have survived, although I must admit that this past week or so it feels as if I've barely survived. I've been nothing but puny and ill for about the past week and a half. I started off with some crazy stomach virus, took an abrupt left turn at Fluville, and have now ended up with some crazily congestive funk that finally sent me to the doc yesterday. So it results that I have fluid in my right ear and infection in my sinuses. Disgusting. And miserable. I can barely hear out of my right ear at times, coughing without being in pain is a trick, and, worst of all, I had to miss 2 classes yesterday. Horror of horrors! But, as you well know ... or maybe don't know, I am a tough gal and I will bounce back from this quite soon. Hopefully tomorrow. The upshot of being infested with this maladious crud is that I have one sultry, sexy, gravelly voice. Result. Actually, not so much because I haven't been within a country mile of an available, attractive man. Not before Ms. Sultry Voice came to town and probably not after she departs. To be serious, if the sexiness of my voice did lull in an available and interested Mr. Hot Pants, I've a feeling that my all-too-sudden hacking in his face at the most inconvenient of times would quite quickly warrant his subsequent exit. It's rude and really quite unlady-like. I've seriously considered the occasional cigarette, but I don't think that I would smoke often enough to achieve desired sexy voice and the ensuing emphysema would just not be worth the effort. Le sigh ...

I've survived what could possibly be the scariest portion of the quarter programme when I managed to make my way through my group presentation ... er, facilitation ... in my Intro to Second Language Acquisition class. I dreaded it like an imminent plague and I did manage to survive it somehow, so I'm not quite sure why everything is going to pot now. At any rate, I'm anxiously awaiting the moment when I'm not hacking like an emphysematic and not gimping about from the ridiculous blister I managed to acquire on my heel from walking a mile or so in the WRONG shoes.

I was hoping that I could possibly make my re-debut into the public eye this evening, but as luck would have it, I turned into an absolute lunatic when I went to the grocery store today. I couldn't remember anything, I couldn't find the places where I had picked stuff up that I wanted to put back, and I didn't feel good at all, quite frankly. So I decided that going out and about this evening might not be such a grand idea after all.

Instead, I've decided to catch up on my blogging, clean my apartment and rid it of the germies, and do a little reading {which should actually be a LOT of reading}.

I haven't decided if anybody actually reads this blog. I think that some folks do when I send out the 'I've had an epiphany!' alarm, but, other than that, I'm not certain. I wouldn't blame anyone for not because I can't seem to force myself to pursue this with any degree of regularity or routine. Which could be exactly how I need to approach this blog ... without regularity or routine. Which might not be an entirely bad thing. The wondrous thing about blogging is that it gives you an outlet to express yourself in some manner that might not be critiqued in an altogether critical or academic way. It's free and it's rather liberating, so on I shall continue. {when I can find the time that is ...}

The television has been absolute rubbish lately. I'm not exactly certain why I was going so batty without it. It's a divine miracle if I can find anything worth watching. TVLand is a usual safe retreat, but even that old, faithful television channel has been somewhat of an über letdown lately. When I subscribed to satellite television, I was super-excited to be the proud new viewer of BBC America. I figured that it had to a magnificent sampling of the glorious telly that the Brits get to watch on BBC and its variants ... alas and alack. The only programme that I will not fail to watch when I can find it is The Graham Norton Show, which I LOVE. I really enjoyed the one episode of The Choir that I saw. Gordon Ramsay is good sometimes. I would love to watch Absolutely Fabulous, but find that it's never on BBCA these days. Luther seems intriguing, maybe I'll check that out when it premieres. I do NOT want to watch Star Trek or any of its spinoffs {isn't that American anyway??}, I do NOT want to watch Dr. Who. I would be beyond delighted with Roger and Val Have Just Got In. I would be supremely satisfied with Little Britain. I would be over the top to watch The Vicar of Dibley. What I want is British comedy!! {Might I be a Brit-lover? Maybe I've become a Tory ... no wait, didn't they fancy the royals? Who knows? Dr. Sample would, that's who ... she'd kick my arse for not knowing this very fact! Ummm, I'm a colonial who has a very healthy respect and admiration for the comic elite of the United Kingdom. So there.}

Speaking of, I am absolutely in love with all things relating to Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, and Jenny Éclair. For some magnificent examples, you can click here, here, and here. These links are really quite small samplings, but they're fantastic nonetheless. Might I also suggest the official web sites for French & Saunders and Jenny Éclair. YouTubing any of these ladies will get you some fabulous results. Jenny Éclair often works with a group called Grumpy Old Women {their cover dance of 'Pokerface' for Let's Dance for Sport Relief is one of the best things that I have seen in quite some time!!}. I have developed my love for these ladies in only the past month or so, really just since I've turned 28 {so barely even a month now}, but I think that they are absolutely fabulous {no pun intended} and fiercely brilliant. I've just finished Dawn French's memoir Dear Fatty about a week ago and I'm thinking that Éclair's Chin Up, Britain! is next on my recreational/extracurricular reading list. Dear Fatty is genuinely and fantastically brilliant. It's her autobiography written in the form of letters to family, friends, and other loved ones and some not-so-quite. I give it 5 stars and highly recommend it. 

In other news, I miss pretty much everybody. I talk to Mom and Dad and hear about Festus on the daily, so that helps, and I text with Sally with semi-regularity. I call Papaw when I can and he even calls me sometimes! {which is impressive, I assure you!} Facebooks, texts, and calls to and from others are quite less frequent. I get to talk to Willa every now and again. I miss everyone and I know that we're all insanely busy, but it still makes me sad and really appreciate the times when I do get to be in the very same vicinity with the ones that I love best.

So anyroadup, I guess that's all for now. I'm all hacky again and need to get productive and such. Night all!

E

'i texted you in desperation ... i said, 'heaven forbid this place!''

Heart, 'Death Valley'

~ ~ ~

This song is somewhat of a running illustration for me. I absolutely cracked up on the way to campus one day -- Heart's Red Velvet Car has become my theme tune for daily transportation, which is good b/c uno} I love Heart and their new album and deux} I'm usually running too late to even think of grabbing my iPod and all of its accoutrement on my way out the door -- [going back into my original thought] b/c I was listening to this aforementioned song and it suddenly occurred to me how fantastically this song could serve as a ... well ... theme tune for my graduate school life these days. The long and short of it is that you really need to hear the lyrics with their accompanying music to fully appreciate their dramatickness {and I have yet to find something good on YouTube}, but otherwise, this is one flippingly magnificent song for all of its dramatic wonder.

Death Valley {Ann Wilson, Nancy Wilson, Ben Mink}

I looked outside of my window

There was fear in the pit of my heart

There was desert as far as the eye could see

It was blistering dust and hard

I texted you in desperation

I said “Heaven forbid this place

It’s hotter than hell and I’m losing my cool

This is not of the human race” no no

Death Valley (way down low)

Death Valley (a thousand miles to go)

Death Valley (way down low)

Yeah – Death Valley (a thousand miles to go)

What if the engine should break down

What if a tire should blow

What if my soul should slip off this bus

And land in the inferno

Bouncing and tumbling onward

Watching in vain for a change

A windmill, a billboard, a Joshua tree

A rusted old home on the range

Death Valley (way down low)

Death Valley (a thousand miles to go)

Death Valley (way down low)

Death Valley (a thousand miles to go)

I’ve got slippery sand in the back of my throat

And silica in my eyes

Pretty soon this will all be another bad dream

If we make it to the other side

If we make it

If we make it

Death Valley

Death Valley

Death Valley

Death Valley (a thousand miles to go)

Death Valley (way down low)

Death Valley (a thousand miles to go)

'little ship of dreams'

Heart, 'Dreamboat Annie'

~ ~ ~

Just a brief posting ... life as a doc student has begun and it has kept me beyond busy. I've had my ups and I've had my downs and I've only been in for a couple of weeks now, but I have stumbled upon one of the most amazing quotes ever that has, quite fortuitously, become my daily mantra. God has His way of putting EVERYTHING that you need right in front of you at just the right moment.

'It's a process of having faith in the self you don't quite know you are yet ... believing that you will find the strength, the means somehow, and trusting in that, although your legs are like jelly. You can still walk on them and you will find the bones as you walk. ... the further I walk, the stronger I become.' ~ Dawn French {from her autobiography, Dear Fatty}

How magnificent is that? I tell you, it's been quite inspirational and encouraging to me, even if I just read it only a few days ago.

God bless and big love to all!

E

I ♥ 'The Vicar of Dibley'!

Was doing a little reading in the Gospels about being the light and the salt of the Earth in preparation for tonight's Bible study at the Vineyard ... it reminds me of the second 'Vicar of Dibley' episode where St. Barnabas Church is being featured on 'Songs of Praise'. Fast-forward to 26:08 ... hilarious!!

what a gorgeous child that is gonna be!

... the child of Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem will probably be the prettiest kid ever ... it'll probably trump mine!

how can one woman have so many anthems??

'WTF'?

{Heart, album: Red Velvet Car}

'How much talking does it take?
Talking 'bout your bad mistakes ...
Gonna talk you wide awake!
Talk until your ego breaks  ...

The past is dust, undo concern
There's hell to pay and it's your turn!
The hardest thing you'll ever learn
Is what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn ...

What bridge to cross and what bridge to burn ...

What's the matter with you?!

What bridge to cross and what bridge to burn ...

...'

'maybe my attention was more than you could do'

Another anthem for me ... 'Stand Back' is my favorite song by Stevie Nicks.

'I asked a distant star ... I wonder where you are'

'Sand' is a beautiful song by Heart and it is very much an anthem for me right now.

They've been singing it for a while {first as The Lovemongers} and it can be found on their newest album Red Velvet Car.

a hot mess

So this is me on my day of epiphany. I got all gloriously glammed up this morning because I was heading to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles to get my Ohio license and switch over to Ohio plates. The Ohio BMV web site clearly states that it is open on Saturday from 8-2. They lied ... there was a poster on the door that says otherwise effective January 24th ... somebody needs a new webmaster!

I shouldn't let the glammour completely go to waste ...

'we're getting older ... the world's getting colder ... for the life of me, I don't know the reason why'

{Heart, 'Dog & Butterfly'}

~ ~ ~

Okay, so it's been over a month since I last posted. I've been thinking about it. I've been meaning to. But, for whatever reason ... business {probably not}, laziness {quite possibly}, or what have you ... I just have not had the energy or desire to sit down and truly write. Perhaps I've been uninspired. Perhaps I just haven't felt like I've had anything worthy to say and share. Today is the end of all of that, at least for now. Maybe I'll fall back into the slump, who knows? But for now I have reached this amazingly marvelous epiphany, I have ascended my soap box, and I'm ready to talk!

My epiphany is that the whole world can just go bugger off. Now, it's really possible, and probably rather likely, that I don't mean to give a royal send-off to the entire population that inhabits this planet or universe; as a matter of fact, there are many, many people whom I absolutely adore and love and would really rather that they hang around. What I do mean to say is that I am adopting the attitude that I am me, I love me, and anybody who disagrees is respectfully invited to not participate in my life. Now, it is true {as indicated in the preceding paragraph} that there are days -- hell, there are weeks -- when I am not that happy with myself. But ... BUT ... I have come to this fantastically fabulous realization that I am who I am and, damn it, I'm not all that bad, to be perfectly honest. I am a big gal, but I am also a beautiful woman. I truly enjoy spending time with the people that I love and care about, I like to meet and learn about new people, and I genuinely want to make the earth a much better and happier place. I may be short in stature, but I am dynamic. I have a good heart and a loving soul.  I may not have the highest IQ on the planet and, to be frank, I am a little overly innocent and naive at times, but I am an intellectual in my own, unique way. I am blessed beyond belief in so many, many ways and I am tired of feeling as if I am not good enough just because I do not completely squeeze into the mold that has been forged by society as to what a happy, healthy, successful, and sexy woman should look like. Who gave society the right to impose its prejudicial opinions on my self-worth? Why should I allow some stick-thin twits from God-only-knows-where to lay the path for the way that I should behave and live my life? For that matter, why should I give that power to their sex- and power-driven counterparts? I don't ... at least, not anymore.

I never realized when I was a young child that I was pudgy. I really don't think that I was until I was 7 or 8 or so. My first real recollection of being pleasantly plump was at approximately that age -- I remember riding in my Dad's truck and sitting there in a pair of jeans that were, I was quite certain, cutting off my circulation. Quite sadly, I knew even at that innocent age that I shouldn't say anything about it. Obviously, there was something wrong with me and therefore it was up to me to fix it. The only way to do that, of course, was to become smaller. I'm not exactly sure that that ever happened. I was always bigger than most of the other girls in my grade in elementary school, but I was kind of a tomboy as well, so I preferred to think that my athleticism had something to do with my size. I loved playing basketball as a child. I played at my neighbor's house. My parents got a basketball goal for my sister and me. I played in the girls' league from fourth grade through the seventh grade. And, I was really good. I was aggressive and I was relatively quick. My passion for the sport, unfortunately, began to wane in the eighth grade because playing the game was no longer an activity of fun, it was an activity of competition and being the best. The eighth grade was the year that I became acquainted with, and subsequently became a BFF to, the bench. Eighth grade was also the year that I achieved the epiphany that boys could no longer merely be your friends to play sports and games with ... the male sex was so much more complicated than that. To sum up the story, I 'played' basketball in the eighth and ninth grades and then I quit. I was tired of sitting around and watching while the other girls played. Hell, I could do that without having to go to practice every single solitary day {even when my grandfather died!} and run my ass off. If I wanted to watch people play, I'd just go to an occasional game or watch it on tv. I didn't need the discrimination, I didn't need the humiliation. Well, then I decided that I would play volleyball. I actually quite liked it. I was short, so that meant that I couldn't be an effective spiker. I was short, so that did mean that I could serve as a setter. I could serve as an alternate/a backup setter, however, because I was also fat. I went to practice every single day ... I had an awesome, powerful serve that oftentimes could not be returned by the opposing team ... but I was also doomed to warm the bench in this sport. So, I paid my dues between the ninth and eleventh grades and I also 'quit' on volleyball. My next sport of diversion was softball. Kind of the same story, except I actually saw some playing time in this sport. Some might say that happened because my Dad helped coach. But, he didn't always coach my team and I learned that I was actually rather good. This was a sport that I could play! I tinkered around with it a little bit in the intramural leagues in college. My softball career came to an end sometime during my junior year. At any rate ... what a tangent. Or, maybe not.

Just because you are heavier than some people doesn't mean that you cannot play sports. It does not infer that you are not beautiful. It does not indicate that you are lazy, inflexible, or unathletic. It does not imply that you are useless and that you are incapable of contributing to society other than by keeping the culinary sector of the economy in check. It does not suggest that you are inept or unintelligent. Fat can be beautiful. When a person is happy and healthy, her or his body proportion should not matter. There is too much emphasis on the strictly physical this day and age, and not nearly enough on the total package that comprises an individual. Attractiveness is an overall characteristic. Sure, a man can have an iron chest, bulging arms, and a lower torso made of stainless steel. But, if that same man has a heart made of coal, the intellect of a chunk of concrete, the personality of wood, and the humor of asphalt, then he is not the man for me.

I have spent the past ten years or so of my life, and I suspect that many of the world's inhabitants have done the same, wanting desperately to be accepted and valued and searching fervently for that one person -- that one spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and physically amazing creature -- who would treat me as the most prized treasure in his entire universe and who would love me for my stunning beauty, incredible intelligence, charming wit, and adorable personality. I'm not so sure that he exists. Perhaps he does. Maybe I'll find out, maybe I won't. One thing that I have learned in 2010 is that I do not need a particular appraisal from other people to live a happily successful life. I was thrown to the ground at the start of the year because a man who listened to me and talked to me and paid attention to me threw me over for a cute, skinny woman with acrylic nails. {It turned out, in fact and QUITE unbeknownedst to me -- this lady has class!, that I was the other woman ... go figure.} I flung myself into mourning and spiraled into a deep depression that I am sure lasted for a good month and a half, if not longer. Mourning and deep depression ... all for a man who was never even worth it?! I have spent a good portion of the year being a support system for another man and, at the same time, feeling that I was falling deeply and unrelentlessly in love with that person. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. While I do know that I overwhelmingly care for that person and even love him in my own way, there are just some things that you cannot do until the time is right. And I am not going to spin my wheels and dig a deeper and more treacherous rut for myself waiting for the 'perfect' man to make his appearance on my stage. No. I will not. I refuse to do it and I am shifting my gears into four-wheel drive. So, ladies and gentlemen, the following is my declaration: I am a beautiful woman physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and personally. I have so much to offer this world and want to enjoy my life to the fullest. I refuse to allow the opinions of other people to influence what I think, how I view myself, how I behave, and what I do in this life. I choose to rely upon the grace of God and my own self-worth and self-confidence. I want to love everyone who chooses to be a part of my life. I want to make the world a better place by greeting it with joy in my heart and a smile in my face. I want to snog and get snogged every now and again {look it up!}. I want to be happy. I want to be me.

Now, you may ask me how in the world I have managed to reach this empowering level of rationalization. I think that a series of events during the past year or so have led up to it. I'm not placing all of the credit with one individual, although I give God the credit for it all, but I have to say that the one individual who has 'pushed me over the edge' has been the vivaciously gorgeous and magnificently witty Ms. Dawn French. For those of you who may not be familiar with her, she is a British comedienne who is incredibly intellectual, brilliantly beautiful inwardly and outwardly, dashingly devastating, fabulously funny, winningly witty, and seriously self-confident even though she does not physically look the way that society has prescribed that every woman should look. I 'discovered' Dawn French several months ago when I was introduced to the BBC series 'The Vicar of Dibley' by two of my friends {a fantastic sitcom that I highly recommend}. I was ignorant of the impact that this lady would come to have on my life. Since my arrival in Columbus, I have decided that I am going to forego some sort of television subscription for as long as I possibly can. I am relying, instead, upon my personal collection of DVDs, Netflix, Hulu, and YouTube for my television and movie entertainment. I decided to search for 'The Vicar of Dibley' on Netflix the other evening and I became entranced by the lead character and the woman who portrayed her. After doing some internet research, I found myself awesomely inspired by this person that I have never and probably will never meet for her unrelenting approach to life and how openly she embraces who she truly is. She does not let other people dictate how she lives her life and she makes no excuses for her appearance -- she loves herself and her confidence exudes for all the world to see. She is a wonderful example of how everyone should love herself or himself.

I suggest that you watch her documentary 'On Big Women'. You can find the video on YouTube {the documentary is divided into parts: I, II, III, IV, and V.} What she has to say is inspiring and she attacks stereotypes of the fat woman with a rational and fiery attitude. I will inform you, however, that this video is geared toward a mature audience. I have to preface your viewing with a few of the best and most thought-provoking comments that she makes in this film {and not necessarily in the order in which they are presented}:

'I mean, as far as I'm concerned, there's 2 types of women ... there's the ones that love chocolate ... and then there's complete bitches.'

'I mean, there was a day when, um, big women were revered ... Rubens, Picasso ... they all loved big women. I mean in Rubens' time, if I was alive then ... when was that, the 1700s was that? The 1300s? 14 ... God, when was Rubens alive? 1430s or ... I don't know, sometime in the afternoon. Um, if I was alive then, I wouldn't have to be a comedienne for a living. I'd be celebrated as a fabulous model ... I'd be painting all day long. I mean in those days, Kate Moss would've only had one use as a paint brush. I mean, I'd be there in Rubens' studio ... he'd be painting me, all the livelong day. And I'd say, "What's that in your hand, Rubens?" And he'd say, "That's Kate Moss, I'm using her as a paint brush."'

'I dieted once ... when I was stupid and weak.'

'You know the diet industry dictates how we should look, along with the fashion industry, I think. And, you know, they take all your money so that you'll buy these products and you lose a lot of weight very fast and of course when you put it on, you put on much more than you ever were before. So then you've got more to lose, so you give more money to buy more of their stupid products. Meanwhile you destroy your body, no chance of settling at the weight that you're ever supposed to be ... So, um, we're paying them to destroy our bodies because we're not allowed to feel happy about the size we are.'

May God bless you and may He bless me and give us all strength, wisdom, intellect, tolerance, beautiful hearts, and innocent souls.

blog subtitle

Since I gave earlier credit to Stevie for my blog's title, I need to properly acknowledge the Sisters Wilson {i.e. the front women of Heart} for a lyric from their hit 'Love Alive' that I am borrowing as the subtitle for this magical little blog.

nothing ever changes ...

Note: I'm trying something with my blog. It's actually been in effect for several entries now, but I'm going to explain in case you hadn't quite picked up on it ... not everyone has the exquisitely eclectic taste in music that I possess.  ; ] When possible, I am going to title each of my blog entries with a lyric from a song as it applies or is stuck in my head. You can bet your bottom dollar that it will probably typically be a tune by Stevie Nicks or the Wilson sisters, but you just never know. I'll also be sure to cue you in as to what song I'm actually quoting. So, without further ado ...

~ ~ ~

{Stevie Nicks, 'Nothing Ever Changes'}

So Stevie was kind of right on this one ... well, I'm actually taking this line out of context, but whatever. Some things never change, but a lot of things do. In my case, the winds of change are, for the most part, whipping up a storm, but hopefully a few things will remain constant. Today marks my very last full day in Pikeville, Kentucky. If all goes as planned, tomorrow I will be laying myself down to sleep in Hilliard, Ohio. A little more than a month later, I will begin my career as a doctoral student at The Ohio State University. So, we shall see. Please say a prayer for me as this next exciting phase of my life comes my way.

As I was saying, today is my last day in the 606. And it's going to be quite the busy day at that. I have so much to sort through and get into boxes. I've been offered more help than I could possibly need, but I just don't know how that would work since I have no idea as to what I'm doing myself. I think that this is something that I need to do on my own -- to go through my belongings, organize them, get rid of what I don't need, and get everything packed away neatly and safely for the trip to the 614.

I woke up half an hour before my alarm was to go off this morning. I tried to go back to sleep; I willed myself back to sleep. But, alas, it did not happen. So I got myself up and out of bed and got ready to attack the day. I was showered and dressed by 8:15 am. So far today, I have eaten breakfast, made a trip to Wal*Mart for some last-minute, but much-needed items, and cleaned out all of the junk that has found its way to my automobile. Pretty productive, I must say, but not productive enough. At the conclusion of this blog authoring, I am going to crank up the iTunes and get to work. So much to do, so much to do!

Yesterday involved a number of my most difficult farewells. It's really not so bad when you have telephone, texting, email, and Facebook, but when you have a lovable and adorable puppy dog who has not yet learned to communicate on the telephone, it makes for a very heart-wrenching farewell. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. Festus and I haven't exactly been the best of pals these past few days and it has NOT been because I haven't been trying. There are days when he loves Mom and Mom only and everybody else can sit by and watch as he runs to her for a back scratch or a brushing with that loving little look in his eye and grin on his face. Dad and I are good for Pupperonis and doggie cookies and not much else. Sally gets preferential treatment when she visits {even if she may not realize it} and Shuff the Brother-in-Law even gets tolerated. I was actually kind of thankful for Festus' ignoring me because I thought that maybe he had figured out that I was getting ready to leave and he was trying to make it easier -- he's used to my comings and goings by now. Until yesterday. Dad, Festus, and I took a trip to the county transfer station to get rid of some old unusable furniture and some general garbage. Festus has recently learned to climb into the front seat of Mom and Dad's truck for short trips and has become rather fond of it. {He will only do it, however, once the driver has climbed into the driver's seat and he can crawl through that person's legs, under the steering column, and climb primly into the middle seat.} After that trip, Dad and I dropped Festus back off at their house and then made a quick trip to town to pick up some parts for some pre-moving trip truck maintenance. When we got back, I packed up the rest of my things from their house and loaded my car. I was actually hoping that maybe I could sneak away without Festus knowing, but I think that would have broken my heart even worse. As usual, he popped his head around the corner of Mom and Dad's home and then trotted over to my car to see what was going on. That did it. As soon as I started to say, 'Be a good boy, Festus ...,' the tears started welling and promptly spilled down onto my cheeks. He knew that I was upset and wasn't quite as difficult to pet as he can be sometimes. After listening to me as long as he would tolerate it, he trotted away and I figured that was his way of saying, 'You should go now.' I got into my car and didn't shut the door immediately because I was looking for my cell phone, plugging in my iPod, etc. All of a sudden, Festus was at my side and crawling through my legs to get into my car. After being stuck under my steering wheel for a few moments, he managed to work his way free and get turned around so that I could see him. I started cracking up, but cried even harder. I started bawling and he looked at me like I was crazy. There was no getting him out of that car. I wasn't quite sure what to do; we were pretty much at a stand-off. So I gently honked my horn to get Dad's attention from inside the house and Festus returned to his normal, skittish self and got his cute little doggie self out of my floorboard and back to the safety of the outdoors. I love that dog and I am going to miss him so.

I went to visit Papaw. While that was sad because I won't be seeing him for a while, it wasn't nearly as heart-shattering because I can always call him up and have a fun talk with him. I love talking to my Papaw. He's an old soul, but he says some of the funniest things ever with such a dry and abrupt tone that you cannot help but crack up. Sally and I can barely stand it when we visit him together. He told me to be careful and to 'keep them doors locked!' a number of times and then I took off for Pikeville.

I got home last night and found out that three of my best friends were coming to visit me with my precious little godson in tow. They came bearing gifts from all of the gang -- it was a paper party neatly packed into about three Wal*Mart bags.  : ] I won't have to buy paper anything for quite some time now ... We had a wonderful dinner at Applebee's and then I came back home to stare at my apartment and arrange a few things.

So now it's today and I've got a LOT of stuff to do. But it shall get done, my friends -- it shall get done. I do my best work under pressure ... and if this ain't the pressure cooker, then I don't know what is! Again, I ask you for your prayers as I pack everything up and get everything together, as we travel to Ohio tomorrow and unpack and arrange, as Mom and Dad make their way back to Virginia, as I find out if every service that I have asked to be set up is actually set up or not, and as I start in Ohio with a clean slate taking all of my experiences and memories with me and moving on to my next big adventure. It's going to be exciting, but even though some things may never change, a lot of them will. I'm excited to see what happens and I will update as soon as I can!

¡Hasta pronto!

I'm every woman! {hear me roar, gentlemen, hear me roar!}

For openers, a little Chaka Khan action.

I just have to admit it ... I impress the hell out of myself sometimes.

My dear, sweet 10-year-old {Claire the Cavalier} is getting on in age. I'm not sure what 10 human years might equate to in automobile years, but it's probably quite a few. As she is aging, she's beginning to have a few minor health problems. A little putter here, a little stutter there, and hot flashes when her a/c runs out of refrigerant. She's overall in very excellent condition for a car that's been on the road since June 2000. She's had a few hormone replacement therapy sessions in the past {administering refrigerant}, but I've never had to do it myself. She's been needing a little TLC lately and I've been putting it off as long as possible. But as I'm heading to Columbus for a short trip on Thursday, and the temperatures have hit inferno-like levels these past few days, I just couldn't let it go on any longer. So I made a quick stop at CarQuest today to pick up some refrigerant and headed to a local garage so that they could put it in my car for me. Psssshhttt ... Local garages do not administer pressurized refrigerant to personal vehicles. WTH? They leave such tasks to innocent citizens who can pump their own gas and can merely check their oil levels? But, being the independent woman that I am, I did not let the daunting task intimidate me. I picked up the hose that I needed from Wal*Mart, marched myself outside this evening, and got to it. I read the instructions several times with sweat running down my face and my hands trembling like crazy. I put on my trusty dusty gardening gloves {that had yet to be used}. I said a prayer and went to work.

I am so flipping proud of myself! I've watched my Dad do this a number of times, but have never had the occasion to do it myself. But this evening I flexed my feminine know-how muscles and took care of it all by my little ol' self. Damsel in distress ... I think not!

I shall build her a cake!

So it occurred to me that I never shared the results of the fruits of my labor in making Sally's graduation cake for her party this past May. The following is a pictorial narrative:

After popping the cake batter into the oven, I played around with a little vanilla frosting and some red, blue, and green food coloring to achieve the perfect shade of UVa-Wise gray.

Then it was time to get the cake out of the oven! Deliciousness in a 12 x 18" pan!

The tedious frosting process began ...

... and Festus came inside to do a little of his infamous supervision.

The frosting in a can that I used was so awesome that I had to pose with it!

And when Festus saw that I was doing everything just right, he got bored and decided to take a little pup-nap.

Like I said before, frosting in a can is AMAZING! {a little UVa-Wise red and gray}

Here's the finished product:

I think that Little Sister approved!

yo -- I'll tell you what I want ... what I really, really want

moving update ... selling book binge!

In the process of all of the sorting and stacking and piling and donating and packing and tossing thus far, I have managed to acquire a rather lofty-sized mountain o' books that I will no read, want, or need. A lot of the books have been accumulated through college and grad school courses and I probably won't ever read 'em again. I was feeling the charitable vibe and was planning to donate them to local libraries, but then I thought, 'Ella -- you could probably gain a little bit of your money back ... look for online book-buy-back web sites!' And so I did. And what I came across was one of the most magnificent search engines known to woman called Book Scouter. You enter the ISBN number of the book{s} that you want to sell and it searches through the numerous buy-back web sites and generates a list for you of the bids that you would get from said sites. I spent a good part of last night and this afternoon typing in ISBN numbers and now a lot of my books are packed up and ready to move to Textbooks 'R Us, Book Jingle, Book Byte, textbooks.com, College Books Direct, and Powell's. I know that I probably spent way more to buy them, but I'm going to get back almost $200. Not too shabby for a few hours' work. Nor do I have to pay to ship them, thankyouverymuch. Each web site provided a handy dandy print-n-ship label upon checkout. My funds will go into PayPal, but you can also have them send you a check. I think, however, that PayPal will be a lot quicker. And, just so you know, the books that are not in those 7 boxes will be heading to the libraries of Pikeville College, the city of Pikeville, and UVa-Wise. So there.

Tomorrow's agenda includes delivering most of my packages to the post office and the UPS Store, going up on campus and submitting final grades and clean-and-clearing my office, and then coming back home to do some more work here. Feeling a little bit more positive this evening, but I still have an incredible amount of work to do! But, I promised a much more positive blog entry this evening, so here you go.

G'night to all!

sometimes even I am allowed to fall ...

Monday morning, here we are. It's not been the best morning in the world, but it will get better. I've got a lot to do and am still feeling overwhelmed, but at the same time I have a sense of peace about things. I know that everything is going to get done, I'm just being lazy and obstinate and do not really want to do it.

Have you ever just sat down in the middle of a mess and looked around and wanted to break down? That's kind of where I am at. The thing is, it's really probably not all that bad. I have a TON of things to do to be sure, but, for some reason, I don't want to do it. It's not because I don't want to move to Columbus; I think that I'd really just like to be able to snap my fingers and be automatically transported there, with all of my belongings ending up in the most natural and organized of places in my new apartment.

So, anyway, that's where I'm at this morning. It's 12:21 and I'm still in my pajamas ... I have gotten a few things accomplished, but not nearly as much as I feel that I would if I were dressed in up-and-at-em clothes. Tsk tsk.

I know that the past couple of entries have been whiny and boring, I promise that I'll do my best to make my next entry at least medially entertaining and upbeat!

Ciao for now!

Selah Part the Waters I Need Thee

Heart - Black Dog (live in Seattle, 2002)

stressing to the max ...

Time is running out ...


I don't mean my lifetime {although, it most certainly is, if we want to be morbid about things ...}, but my time here in Pikeville. And with the all-too-quick elapse of time comes the all-too-frequent rises in my stress, and I'm sure my blood pressure, level. I am planning to make the move from eastern Kentucky to central Ohio in two short weeks. I started apartment destruction yesterday ... emptying my closet {the walk-in that never really was due to all of the junk that kept making its way there}, going through cabinets, starting packing boxes here and there. I'm not sure that I ever really stuck to one task at a time. I sorted, I piled, I put a couple of things in boxes,  I donated, I threw away, I began a shredding pile since I was too lazy to plug the dern thing in and run things through as I found them. Now, I imagine that two weeks should probably be plenty of time to pack up and prepare to move, but I'm stressing and flipping out nonetheless. I'm heading to Columbus next week for a couple of days and I was hoping to spend the next week in Virginia, spending some time with my familia and helping them get a few things done before I take off. I don't know if that's going to happen or not, but I surely hope that it does. At any rate, emotions are high, stress levels are through the roof, and I'm about to have a fit and/or a major breakdown.


I also need to prepare for my online class that will be gearing up in a few short weeks ... teaching two classes in June and July, in addition to running around like a crazy werewolf or a wandering vampire {yes, I've been reading the Twilight series this summer ...}, have zapped every last smidgen of energy from me.


So if you're reading this, PLEASE say a prayer for yours truly. I know that everything is going to be fine. I know that it will all come together as it always does -- God has His way of always working it out. But for some reason this evening, I am stressing and I am stressing hardcore. 

back into the swing of things ...

I am jumping back into the blogging world. Sadly, my idea to start and maintain a blog of my very own was only good for three entries ... It's been over 2 months since I wrote my last entry. So ... I'm getting back into the game. I have decided this evening that I want to get back into the game in a lot of different ways. Unfortunately, this blog suffered the same initial fate that a lot of my ideas/projects meet ... it started off with a bang of dedication ... and then crashed in a nosedive of defeat.

I have been thinking about my blog for the past few days or so and how I needed to get it started back up. And then I told myself the same ol' stale reasons for not writing it anymore. 'You don't have time.' 'You have other things to do.' 'What would you write about?' etc, etc. I started reading my friend Stephanie's blog today and was so impressed with her dedication and commitment to it already and it was then that I decided that I was going to continue to write even if I didn't have time. So there.

Also this evening I have decided that I'm going to start making time for the things that I have been postponing and shrugging off that should be activities that are of the utmost importance to me. I am going to do my best to conduct a self-spiritual and physical overhaul. I need to work on my relationship with God. I talk to Him quite often, many times a day in fact. But I do not feel, however, that I spend the time that I should with Him. I don't read as much as I want to. I do not meditate as I would like to. I am in atrocious physical shape. I looked at some pictures from the weekend and have decided that the cutest face ever is being held up by one of the most hideous bodies ever. Say what you want ... that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I am stuck in a rut ... spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally ... and I HAVE to shift myself into four-wheel drive and get the hell out of there. Sooooo ... Ella has declared civil war on herself ... and dares anybody to get in her way.

easy as cake!

... whatev. I'll get more into that in a second.

Little Sister is graduating from college tomorrow and I couldn't be prouder. She will be receiving her degree in Elementary Education with an emphasis in math.

So ... Little Sister graduates from college and she wants a party. Family sets out to plan a small graduation fiesta. Nothing fancy ... a few hotdogs, some yummy side items {which I probably won't eat ...}, some balloons, and a cake. A graduation cake, to be specific. Big Sister gets the bright idea to NOT order the graduation cake. No, Big Sister will MAKE the cake herself {'I will build her a cake!'}. So, build her a cake I did. I bought the necessary supplies at the only retailer on the planet the other day and this evening Festus the Wonder Dog and I baked Sally the College Graduate a graduation cake. {No, no ... he didn't really bake [he's too good for that], but he did supervise my decorations ...} At any rate, Little Sister now has a cake and Mom is going to make all kinds of yummy foods in the morning and then we will head for Wise for the Commencement Shindig. It will be a great day and I shall post pictures tomorrow evening if I have any energy left at all. But I am a proud Big Sister indeed. : ]

As a critically acclaimed reporter from 'Weekend Update' once said, 'Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow!'

blog title

... and, since I am in academia and am obligated to uphold all standards of professionalism and academic integrity, I am giving credit for the title of this blog to one Ms. Stevie Nicks as found in the lyrics of one of her numerous artistic masterpieces, 'Sweet Girl'.

testing ... 1, 2, 3

hmmm ... so this is the blog world, eh?

I thought that I would venture into this venue after reading some of Jen's entries {one of my best friends} chronicling her current journey into southeast Asia. You can follow her adventures here.

I've never really visited the realm of bloggery before, but I thought that I would try this out. I'm going to go ahead and let you know now, should anybody happen to stumble across this blog, that my life isn't incredibly exciting. It is wonderful, to be sure, but you probably won't find anything too crazily exotic here.

So, here we go. I'm going to try this thing out.

I'll post more soon, this blog-creation was quite spontaneous and I don't exactly have a tremendous amount of time to reflect and write.

Quick recap of recent and soon-to-be-forthcoming events ... hmm ... the Spring 2010 semester has finally shifted itself into the park position {and thank God for that}. Commencement was this past Saturday. Mother's Day was on Sunday -- we all had a really nice day with Mom. We are so blessed that God surrounded her with His angels on November 12th, 2009 when she was involved in that horrible car wreck. She and Dad weren't feeling so great, but I think that it was a good day, overall. I'm currently on summer vacay, if you can call it that. Two of my best friends departed the US of A {on the same day!} to go on incredible journeys in Asia and Brazil. My little sister, Sally, is graduating from UVa-Wise this Saturday -- I am so very, very proud of her! I am venturing to Knoxville next week for an ACA advisory group meeting about foreign language acquisition and sharing resources. Will probably spend quite a bit of time the next couple of weeks hanging out with Mom, Dad, and Festus the Wonder Dog and helping them out with some projects. Summer I session starts at the beginning of June. In the midst of weeding through résumés for someone to take my spot here at Pikeville for a year or so because ... I'm heading back to OH-IO in August! Gonna do the PhD thing for a while ...

So ... I guess that's pretty much it for now. Happy wishes for a wonderful day to all!